#like when you’re submerged in a dream and you’re chasing something unattainable

[eternity-death]

Okay guys now it’s time to consider…

Sunday being in love with Reader… but being unable to act on his feelings because The Dream Master disapproves of it…

The yearning in this would be INSAAAAAANNNE.

[anonymousalpaca]

Wings ~Chapter One~

So, this is my first time really writing anything like this so if it isn't the best I apologize. Writing is just an outlet for me, and each and every one of BTS's music videos have really impacted me so I decided to do a series based on them. These are inspired by some theory videos I've seen as well as some theories of my own so if anyone actually reads this and enjoys it and wants to see some theory videos I might make a masterpost of my recommendations?

Word Count: 1,454

Warnings: Substance abuse? Kinda angsty tbh

His delicate fingers grazed the white cloth in gentle handfuls that sifted through his fingers like grains of hot sand, and he imagined that he was in the place where he so deeply wished to be. In this home of white walls, Park Jimin could only see the artificial light of restraining wires and contraptions that tightened around him like the hold of his past. He dreamed to be free in the infinity of the ocean, the water his only escape from the demons that lurked within him. He had tried to submerge himself in the frailty of the wild tangle of motionless expanse so many times, but there was only so much freedom in the three inches of dirty water that his bathtub would provide him with. However, in this home on the third floor of the university medical center, Jimin could find a home in one other muse.

All his life, he had dreamt of someone to trust, someone to hold onto; a role model to help him claw out of the darkness around him. In the boy who lived down the hall and to the left, Jung Hoseok, Jimin found a liferaft and the knowing that sometimes the dense breaths of air sometimes weighed down on his lungs less than the swallowing of murky water. Now Jimin, at the very least, had been blessed with many close friends in his lifetime, however, Hoseok to him, was the best friend he could ask for. No, more, Hoseok was a brother, and no matter how many times he wanted to sink, Hoseok taught him how to fly.

Nonetheless, Hoseok dealt with demons of his own. He knew all too well of the flying that the highs of small white pills would provide him with. How else could Hoseok find himself in the hospital? In all other ways, he was a model student, a bit of a trouble maker possibly, but otherwise unattainable, and this flaw, this flaw would drag him to the depths of self-hatred. Jimin knew of this flaw better than anyone else, but he, unlike Hoseok, had used it to fuel the respect for his hyung. He had found someone with demons like his, but to Jimin, Hoseok had all the more potential of overcoming them. This potential was a gift that he could only wish to have.

Jimin and Hoseok found similarities in their demons, and the biggest one - they named loneliness. Both of them knew how easy it was to disappear, even without those intentions. People could forget about you as easy as they could forget a bad dream. They can push you aside and pretend you're disposal like dreams - just something that takes up the dark hours, but not worth enough to obtain your time of day. They found fear in knowing that they may never be good enough to be remembered, and a lot of times they let this fear of abandonment get the best of their desire to survive. However, when together, they could use it to become better versions of themselves.

Hoseok knew that he would always be grateful to Park Jimin. Without him, he never would've recovered well enough to make it out of the hospital. But now, here he was, ready to emerge into the world as a new man, and he wondered, would anyone be waiting for him? Or more importantly, would he be willing to wait for someone else?

Jimin's trauma had still been a losing battle with his treatment. No matter how hard he pushed to reach his peak, within a week he would find himself back at square one. The black and white yoyo from "fine" to "a mess" had a pull on him with a rope that couldn't be cut as quickly as an addiction can. At least, that's how it seemed right now, and Jimin was far less willing to get help. That was the one downfall of Jimin and Hoseok's friendship. As long as he was around, Jimin saw no point in getting better. He had a friend, someone who wouldn't leave him, so what was the point in getting out of the hospital?

All along it had been Jimin who had been faced with this decision. "How are you feeling today, Jimin?" "I feel fine." "And what about the incident?" "I don't remember." He was caught in a lie that held him back, all so that he wouldn't have to risk going back into the world alone. However, now that Hoseok was the one who was faced with this decision, things were far more complicated.

All that he had wanted since getting into the hospital was finding a way out. His mother would never find him here, not that she'd been trying, and although he always tried to maintain a smile, Hoseok wasn't as good at finding happiness under the artificial lights found between four white walls as Jimin was. So reluctantly, he made the decision to leave as soon as he had the opportunity to do so. He was certain that substance abuse was now only an obstacle from his past, and the nurses applauded him for the next few weeks on his complete 180 from when he had been admitted. He knew that Jimin still had a long way to go, and even if he made a fake recovery, the hospital staff wouldn't be letting him leave for a while, so on the day of his clearing, Hoseok made his way to say his final goodbye.

Jimin frantically chased his Hyung as he made his way to gather his things. "Don't leave me." He had begged. "You were supposed to stay."

Hoseok didn't look back, fearful that even a one-second glance would change his mind, and as he made his way to his new future, he even swore he could see himself approaching the figure of his mother, waiting for him downstairs.

The fantasy, however, was quickly soiled by the interrupting sobs of the boy behind him. Seemingly awakened, Hoseok stumbled on the middle stair. Still, he did not look back, and in that moment he could finally imagine what his mother had felt when she left him behind. He had made up his mind. He couldn't wait for Jimin. He could taste blood and regret from biting the inside of his cheek as he left the crying boy behind on the stairs, but he knew this was for the best, and hopefully, five others would be out there waiting for him in a way that he knew he couldn't offer Jimin.

The next morning Jimin woke up more broken than he'd ever felt. He was all alone, for the first time in months, and he failed to see the light within the brightness of the white walls that he had seen before. To him, they were as dull as the shadowy trees on the lobby's painting. He had been abandoned once more, but this time by his only friend left - once his fearless ally, was now a forbidden fruit, like any desire to escape.

However, as Jimin got out of bed to make his way to his 9 a.m. therapy session, something felt off. There was a clearing in the air that made it feel as though today was different, and not only because he was now waking up in a room with an empty hospital bed, and the odd feeling was only intensified by the flinging open of his hospital room door.

Six cheekily grinning boys walked into the room with a half-drunken stumble (except for Kim Seokjin, who the man of self-proclaimed sobriety). Jimin knew these boys all too well, specifically one face that he had recently vowed that if he were ever to see again that he would never speak to - no even acknowledge; his best friend, Hoseok.

"We have five minutes to leave, Jiminie." His best friend spoke. "It's your decision as to whether we leave with or without you."

"You already left without me." Jimin spoke hoarsely as he licked his dry lips.

"But I came back, we all did. I just, can't wait for you, Jimin, so it's now or never."

And so, with a final glance at the hospital bed behind him, Jimin finally made a choice of his own. He had friends now, a home, and a chance at freedom, and although those things weren't promised to stay, he decided to no longer let his fears trap him within the white walls of the hospital. In the beginning, Jimin entered the hospital as one, and now, he escaped in a family of seven; running frantically from everything that was behind them - including the disturbing painting on the lobby wall.